I Was In Prison, And He Came To Me
placesofrefuge | June 28, 2008 05:34
I Was In Prison, And He Came To Me
Page One - Page Two
by Lee Gaymon
Email: thismessage:/placesofrefuge@yahoo.com
Website: Places of Refuge
I was completely confounded as to how in the world I wound up in such a place!
The "fish tank" was one cell block with twenty-six cells, thirteen up and thirteen down. Why thirteen, I don't know, maybe some kind of a joke. I, with 25 other men, was locked down for 23 hours a day.
The meals were brought by trustees from the kitchen and shoved through the slot in the door, and we were let out for one hour each day to shower and to clean our cells. Some interaction could go then between prisoners. The talk ranged from "I didn't do it" to "I've been down this road before."
There were a couple of men who were doing what I was; trying to find some kind of answers by reading the Bible. I would spend most of my time reading the scriptures. The Psalms had my full attention, especially the ones that dealt with being persecuted and in trouble.
God was speaking to me through His Word by the Holy Spirit. He was hearing my cries and a comfort would come over me as I read the scriptures. He was quick to give me the strength I needed to bear up through the ongoing torment I was experiencing by my incarceration and the reasons I was there.
Satan kept telling me that God would not do anything for me and that I was too far gone for any hope of salvation, but each day a new blessing would come to me. I was beginning to understand myself, as well as God's plan for me.
I was becoming more dependent upon His Word as a guiding force in my life. I knew from the Word what I should be doing with my time in prison and with the rest of my life. I was going to continue studying His Word to the point of becoming a minister and dedicating my life to Him.
I was amazed at how much peace I felt, even with the longing for my wife and children and the life that I had ruined by my idiotic, insane behavior.
The prison chaplain would come around to the new prisoners and invite them to Bible study. It meant an extra hour out of the cell and it would also mean that I could get some questions answered I had accumulated from unsupervised study. I looked forward to those Bible studies and the hour would fly by as I tried to take in everything I could concerning God's Word.
At the Bible studies, I learned that it was not enough to be a good guy for the rest of my life. It was necessary to allow Jesus to come into my heart. I said the "sinners prayer" with others during one of the Bible studies and I could feel the Holy Spirit fill my being with a warm glow.
I looked at everything in a completely different light! I had been redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ,and the one true God had accepted me as one of His children! I had been adopted by My Holy Father and He saw me as He sees His Son, pure and chaste and without blemish!
I was still locked up, though. The walls didn't come down as they had done for Peter and Paul, but the walls no longer held me in. I was totally free and at the same time in prison! Only the true God, the Son and the Holy Spirit can have this power! I went back to my cell and wept for the pure joy of all that had happened.
There were those who said that I was under some kind of spell. They said that after a little while I would get back to reality and see that there really is no God and I was only fooling myself to think that some god could help me. The more they talked, the more I trusted in my Lord!
I knew that after I was re-born Satan would try his best to get me to renounce God and go on with my pathetic old life, thinking only of myself and my personal wants and desires. Since Satan was trying so hard to change my mind, there had to be a lot to this re-birth thing!!
My resolve to follow my Lord grew stronger. The joy that I felt was unfathomable! I felt that I really was worth something and not just something to be thrown away! God knew me. He was there every step of the way from my arrest to the time I spent in jail; to my sentencing, my divorce and my transfer to prison. I was free and there was no turning back.
My ex-wife had a lot of venom in her heart, and rightly so. My family, for the most part, decided that I was no longer even alive. I had never been so alone in my life, but the strength that I found in God's Word and the presence of the Holy Spirit gave me the help I needed to hold on.
There were some who wished me harm at this time. It hadn't been very long ago since I'd been sentenced and there were still those who wanted the worst for me. They wanted me to suffer as much as possible for the things I had done to them.
Page Two
I Was In Prison, And He Came To Me
Page Two - Page One
by Lee Gaymon
Email: thismessage:/placesofrefuge@yahoo.com
Website: Places of Refuge
Things couldn't have gone better considering that I was still in prison and awaiting assignment to one of the yards. The choices were maximum, minimum and trustee. I prayed that God would have them put me where I could get the most spiritual growth. The day came that I would be transferred to a yard.
I was both afraid and elated that I would be getting out of the "fish tank" and out to a place where I could find some kind of work in the prison and have more room to go for walks and get some fresh air, but I had grown comfortable in that six by eight cell. It was a place of safety in an unsafe environment and now I was going to have to leave it.
The Trustee division was out of the question but if I could get to the Minimum (security) yard I could be transferred to the Trustee department quicker that if I were to go to the Maximum (security) yard.
The Maximum yard held untold dangers because of the type of people living there. Murderers, rapists of both women and men, child molesters, sodomists, strong arm robbers and professional criminals who could not be trusted. Some of them had to be tranquilized just so they could make it to the mess hall without killing anybody!
The Minimum (security) yard was full and we in the "fish tank" had to be moved out to make room for the new prisoners coming in. The Maximum yard had plenty of open cells. I was crushed!
It was everything I imagined it would be. The eyes staring at you, the people who had been living in the cell block where you were assigned looked at you as if you had just killed their mother, even though they already had. It was not a friendly place!
People get killed in prison. There was always an undercurrent of anger and restlessness on the yard. The frustrations of being locked down and the cruelty of the situation took its toll on all who lived here. Emotions were always right on the surface, ready to spring out at the slightest provocation.
Some would prowl the yard looking for someone to control and dominate. There was always someone around to satisfy the hunger for violence. It was like lions stalking antelope on the African plain, waiting for the weaker of the prey to hang back or to wander from the protection of the herd.
I could hear the voices outside my cell talking about me and what they thought of the "new guy". They were speculating as to what I had done and if I was worth letting live until breakfast.
I shut off the light, lay down on my cement slab and prayed for all I was worth.
I was still alive after a night of prayer, and I was ready to face the first full day on the max yard. I was refreshed and full of the strength of God as I went to breakfast and then to my new job in the education department as a teaching assistant in the G.E.D. section.
I would go to work and I would go to meals with my eyes toward the ground, not looking at anyone, or speaking a word. They did not know me and I did not want to know them.
Arguments and fights would break out for no reason except for someone not liking the way someone looked at him. One fight would incite another fight like a pack of wild dogs - when there is a scuffle in the pack other scuffles will break out. Even though I would be near to these outbreaks sometimes, I was not approached or even noticed. I always felt that God had His angels gathered around me.
The loneliness of the cell block was almost overwhelming; not a friendly face in sight and not a friendly voice to be heard. The only voice that was soothing was the Holy Spirit talking to me, comforting me through the scriptures and giving me insight to the verses I was reading. "Be not afraid, for I am with you" God said to Joshua as he took over the reins from Moses. God was with me, too.
I felt as though I were being shielded from the world in which I found myself - safety amongst danger. The truth of God's Word was showing itself each and every day. I was a recluse. I studied my Bible and felt like a cloistered monk. My loneliness was still eating at me, but I was feeling more secure every day. God encircled me with His love and grace.
There was nothing that would harm me, nothing that would cause fear or trepidation. God would preserve me through all of it. The valley of the shadow of death would not claim me. I was His and I will always be His.
God delivered me and I was able to go to the Trustee department of the prison. When I called His name, He was there, when I was in trouble, He came to me, when I needed help, He gave me strength. In six months, I was paroled. I was out of that place and home, building my new life with Him at my side, my darling new bride, Cindy, with me.
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As far as the exact offense that landed me in prison goes, it will have to be enough to say that I committed a felony. "And such WERE some of you..."
This is the reason I don't expound on my past. It was left at the base of the cross and that's where it will stay. I know of God's salvation through the sacrifice of His only begotten Son. He will always be with me and I with Him. Lee W. Gaymon
And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever - John 14:16, KJV
Notes by Lee Gaymon while in prison.
placesofrefuge | June 10, 2008 13:42
Notes by Lee Gaymon while in prison. Notes on psalm 51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: According to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. I was in a jail for the first time in my life. I never thought that I would ever be in a position like the one I was in. Overcome with shame, guiilt, and fear, I had no idea what to expect. I was hoping for probation due to the fact that I had no previous record and had been a good citizen. The fact still remained that I was locked up. My family and friends had all but written me off and the ones who hadn’t , like my son and daughter, had no say in thematter. I was never so alone. Alone with my guilt ane shame. I wanted it to all go away. I wanted everything to be the same as it was and I would be at home with my family. This was not the case. I prayed to God, whom I really didn’t know, to release me from that place. I knew that would not happen. I did, however have the feeling that He would forgive me. Just what I had to do to have this happen, I did not know. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. I knew that I needed to be cleansed from my sins but I really didn’t know what that would mean. The term “cleanse” not only means to clean, but to scrub. I was going to get a good scrubbing down before my jouney would be over. God goes after those He calls and it is necessary for the “called” to undergo a thurough cleaning. This involves some pruning and regrowth. Re-birth is a lot like that. Out of the ashes, the Pheonix that is our “new person” rises to the new life that God provides through the blood of His only begoatten Son, Jesus Christ. For I know my transgressions; And my sin is ever before me. There was no doubt about what I had done. Everything I did while in jail and prison and everything I do now is done with the thoughts of my past transgressions. God had forgiven me but the consequences of my action are still making themselves known even today. When we sin, the effects of that sinning stays with us and colors all we do for the rest of our lives. The main point is what we do with it. It is the “ripple-effect” at work. We never really know the far reaching effects of our sin, but we do know that it happens. “The sins of the fathers are visited on the sons.” This saying is, unfortunately true. In order to turn the effects around or soften the blow is to get right with God. 4. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, And done that which is evil in thy sight; That thou mayest be justified when thou speakest, And be clear when thou judgest. I thought that it was bad enough that I had harmed my family and myself, but when I came to the realization that I had also sinned against God, I was in great fear of what God had in mind for me. I did know that I wasn’t going to get off “scott free”. There is always a penalty imposed when a law is broken. One of the sure ways to tell if there really is a God is to break one of His laws and commandments and watch what happens. The chastizing isn’t always immediate, but as sure as there is a God in heaven, the chastizing will come! The clarity of the judgement of God came to me when I was sentenced. There would be no parole or probation. There would be imprisonment. 5. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity; And in sin did my mother conceive me. We are all born in sin. It isn’t our fault or our parents, it is the result of the fall of Adam and Eve in the garden that has brought us all into condemnation. There is only one way out. A person must accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. He died for us so that we might gain salvation through the blood of His sacrifice. I had to accept Him! It was mu only way out of the life choices that I had made that brought me to the point that I was finding myself in. Locked up and totally foresaken. 6. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts; And in the hidden part thou wilt make me to know wisdom. A person might be able to fool another person but one can never completely fool oneself and one connot ever fool God! Just as the “Prodigal Son” had to “come to himself”, I had to acknowledge the fact that I had done a grave wrong and all of the justifying and excuse making could not hide the fact that I was the cause of the misery that I was feeling, my family was feeling, and my friends were feeling. There is a place deep down insde all of us where we like to “hide” sometimes. It is our refuge from the world and all of the stuff the world has to offer. Sometimes when we go to that secret place, the solace is not there. The peace that was there is taken over by unrest caused by a deep wrong that we have done.Our conscience is telling us that we must do something about the unrest, or we will never be able to find peace in our lives again. This is the wisdom of our “hidden part”. The Holy Spirit tells us what must be done. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. To be Purified in this sence is to be offered up as a sacrifice for sins committed. This is a very scary ordeal! The idea is that after one is sacrificed or had the blame put on them for a transgression, then they will be purified or uncontaminated. The washing has to do with a cleansing by trampling and stomping with the feet in soapy water or other cleaning fluid in order to get a complete cleaning. It is the “fuller” process that is needed. I felt this cleansing. The consequences of my actions were heavy indeed. Some take this cleansing and turn away from God because they are mad at Him and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I, on the other hand, took the cleansing as most do with the idea that it was nescessary if I was to fully repent for my mis-deeds and begin anew as a born again Christian. 8. Make me to hear joy and gladness, That the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. I was beginning to feel the presence of God in my life. I welcomed the process that I had started and would go through the rest of the way in order to attain the transformation that was necessary. The ‘BONES” refers to the old body or old self. It hints that even the “old self” was struggling to find what God had to offer, but was always looking in other places. Now the “old self” can rejoice because I had finally found the true path to peace and solace. I could look at whatever would befall me as another step in gaining the salvation I needed and the new life I hungered for. 9. Hide thy face from my sins, And blot out all mine iniquities. Through the process of repentence and acknowledgement of our sins, God, because of the sacrifice of His Son, not only hides our sins from His face, He closes them up and shuts them out. He erases all of our evil that we have done. With Jesus as our Savior and Lord, all of our sins are atoned for. The past, present ane future sins are forgiven and with that knowledge we try our very best to follow and obey the Lord, Our God. I knew that God would forgive me, but I wasn’t holding much hope that the victims of my actions would ever forgive me. This is another consequence of my actions. I would have to leave it up to God and the Holy Spirit to handle that part of the atoning. 10. Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me. A new courage was working inside me and my thoughts were on God instead of myself and my situation. I started looking at everything differently as a way to true salvation. Kindness and love began to work in my heart for others and not myself. A spirit of love , giving and tenderness was at work in my life. The only sadness was that I couldn’t share it with the ones who were close to me. I couldn’t hold my family in my arms and have them benefit from my new condition. More of the ravages of sin in my life. I kept getting nearer to God in order to calm the fear and sadness brought about by my sins. 11. Cast me not away from thy presence; And take not thy holy Spirit from me. As I began to rely on God more and more, the fear that He would abandon me was giving me quite a lot of worry. I was beginning to enjoy the Holy Spiti’s leading and I wanted to know more about God, His Son and the Holy Spirit. If He would ever leave me, I would be lost forever. Separated from Him for an eternity, never to regain the fellowship I was beginning to enjoy. 12. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with a willing spirit. I needed that full knowledge that I was actually going to receive salvation and forgiveness. Along with this, I needed to have the strength to carry oon with whatever was to happen to me. I needed to be up held and comforted as I went about reading and studying God’s Word and spending my time at that prison. I would use this time to benefit myself and others. 13. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; And sinners shall be converted unto thee. This is when I decided that I must become a spreader of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! I wanted everyone to know and feel the pure peace and joy that came with becoming a child of God by accepting His Son, Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior!! A new mission had arrisen in me. This is what I wanted to do, but not by my own power. It must be by the power of the Holy Spirit within me or I would fail. 14. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation; And my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. By accepting Jesus into my heart, I was being spared form the second death, which is the separation from God for eternity. I would be in His presence for ever. This is the deliverance from bloodguiltness. Because of the deliverance by God, I shall now be able to sing the praises of God. The wording used in this scripture tells of shouting from the roof tops the righteousness of God. 15. O Lord, open thou my lips; And my mouth shall show forth thy praise. If it were to up to me, I would never know what to say or do when the chance came to tell of the love of God for us. I would have to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my words and then I would know that God would be speakng through me as He has done through mllions of people throughout the ages. What a priveledge, What an honor!!!!! Thank you dear Lord for all you have done for me!!! 16. For thou delightest not in sacrifice; Else would I give it: Thou hast no pleasure in burnt-offering. The mere actions of religeous rites and chants are not what God needs from us. He requires more. If it were possible, we would give Him all of the lip servce we could. Much more is needed if I was to really turn my life around. 17. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: A broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Through the ordeal that I put myself through, I found out what a truly broken heart was. I had completely ruined my family. My wife would divorce me, my daughter would try to think that her father was even alve, and my son would grow up wthout ever really knowing his father. I was truly contrite and my spirit was at an all time low. It was the low that comes and you don’t know whether to kill yourself or just find a hole to crawl into and hide for the rest of your pathetic life. Some go into the prisons with the idea of hiding. They don’t and can’t face the reality of the world or what they had done. It is a hiding place. It works for a whle, but rather soon one has to confront the truth and the nature of his actions. Some give up and die. Others get up and put their trust in God, accept Jesus , and follow the guidence of the Holy Spirit in order to get their lives straight . This is the choice I made. 18. Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: Build thou the walls of Jerusalem. God will go on with His work in this world. He will bless those who come to Him and He will curse those who don’t. I wanted to be among those who were on the side of the blessings, both on the receiving end and the apostalic end. He will do as He will do. He is God. Much better to go along with Him than without Him. In this life and definitely in the life to come! 19. Then will thou delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, In burnt-offering and in whole burnt-offering: Then will they offer bullocks upon thine altar.After accepting Christ, and fully offering myself in the service of the Lord. After I realized that I needed Him in order to carry on with my life in a proper manner. After I gave myself completely to Him, then and only then did my puny, little acts of devotion have any meaning what-so-ever!! Anything I do in the name of Jesus Christ must be done with atotal guidence of God through the Holy Spirit. God accepts these offerings when done from the heart and in the vein of absolute self sacrifice and joy!The work of God is done primarily though the Holy Spirit. We are merely the vessels by which the Word of God is spread thoughout the world.I am forever blessed because of the work of the Holy Spirit gven through the chaplains and fellow Christian inmates who helped bring me to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. This is why I am in prison ministry. I am blessed, so you be blessed with the Word and Knowledge of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit as your lead.
Pain And Wisdom
placesofrefuge | May 13, 2008 06:37
Pain And Wisdom
When we are in pain, there is wisdom.
We have available to us great wisdom, but we have to use it.
Wisdom from the Bible is of tremendous value when we are in a state of need.
Wisdom is a lot like food.
Wisdom has to be taken in, chewed on, swallowed, and digested.
Wisdom, if it is real and genuine, does not particularly give us a quick fix to our pain and suffering. However, over time, when wisdom is taken in and digested,
it nourishes us and blesses us.
First Post on this Blog
placesofrefuge | April 06, 2008 07:05
This is the first post on this blog. I am a Christian, married, an ex-con, retired music teacher who has, with my wife, been involved in prison ministry, and love cruising the Caribbean. Whew! That is a long sentence.
My wonderful wife Cindy is my very best friend who looks after me and makes sure that my being a man doesn't get out of hand and prove embarassing to all concerned. From time to time I will be adding to this blog as I try to figure out how to get through this part of my life with Jesus as my Savior and Holy Spirit as my guide. God, being my Father, has been more than generous with His blessings in the past 20 years.
I spent some time in the Wyoming State Penitentiary from 1988 to 1990. Not a lot of time, but just enough to ruin my entire life, loose me my family, career, and any self -respect I might have had.
I accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord while I was in prison and I earned my masters in theology.
Cindy and I have been involved in running Bible studies in jails, prisons, and in churches.
It seems that we have developed a hobby of going on cruises. I absolutely love being on the open seas and Cindy loves taking Rock and Roll cruises to anywhere.
Thats enough for now. I suppose I am only talking to myself, but that can be good too. = Be Blessed!- Lee
Congratulations!
placesofrefuge | April 06, 2008 06:40
If you can read this post, it means that the registration process was successful and that you can start blogging
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